The return of Tridge?!

Tridge (AKA Taylor and Ridge)... is that where we're heading? After years of not thinking about Ridge, now Taylor's waking up unable to stop thinking about him. It went something like this:

"Ridge Ridge Ridge Ridge Ridge... I've got to stop thinking about you Ridge."

(echo: "... gotta stop thinking about you Ridge")

"Ridge, I've gotta stop thinking about you."

(echo: "... gotta stop...")

(echo: "Ridge, Ridge, Ridge...")

D'you get it? Would you like a publicity shot to make it seem a bit more real? Okay...

A strange thing happened up at Big Bear...

What the hell?! Part two.

Another what the hell moment: how many people on this show have "comfort" sex. Dear Lord, it's astonishing. Spending time with your partner's terminal aunt? Boink her, it'll make her feel better. Husband in a coma? Roll around on his bed with someone else.
________________________________________________

What the hell was Katie doing sitting there stitching her needlecraft with a smug look on her face.

Oh, I hate her. No, Bridget, of course I haven't seen Nick, we can barely even look at each other. So, that's why you ran right over to his house and got nekkid is it, Katie? It's not the skankyness I can't stand (I love my skanks), it's the hypocritical, sanctimonious Pity-Me Katie BS I can't stand. ________________________________________________

What the hell? I've always been a Bridget fan (yeah, shoot me). But, hell, is Ashley Jones coming into her own, or what? That girl is knocking it out of park on a daily basis at the moment. Go, Budge!
_________________________________________________

What the hell? Ridge fell in love with Brooke the first moment he laid eyes on her? Oh, Ridgiepoo, that is horsesh!t. Remember Caroline? Remember you committed to her and didn't give Brooke a second thought? Remember after Caroline died you proclaimed Taylor was the one? Remember that, Ridge?! Apparently not. Ugh, he's a jackass.

What the hell?

Recently I've found myself saying what the hell quite a lot.

Let's start with Rick. Where the heck did his demented ranting come from? Taylor should give her baby to your mother, should she? Uh, no she shouldn't, Freakazoid. I was liking Rick a lot, and despite the age difference, I didn't mind Rick and Taylor. It certainly put the cat among the pidgeons with Brooke, and I guess that was the point. The drama! But now he's all you're not bonding with the baby, why not give him to my mom? Seriously, WTF, Rick? Taylor, oh Taylor. How shocking was it to see her give away her own child to her long-term rival Brooke? This storyline is revolting, but at the same time it's got me intrigued about what's coming down the line. Taylor handed over the kid she gave birth to, but when she's in bed worrying and remorseful she's thinking about... go on, guess, it's gotta be the fact she just gave away her kid? Um, no, Taylor's in bed thinking about Ridge. Yes, Ridge, the man she hasn't given a second thought to in, like, years. She's been busy with other stuff:

• flattening Darla on a foggy highway

• becoming engaged to and nearly marrying Darla's husband (he was in the dark about that little bump in the road)

• being kidnapped by Hector and then nearly dying when he set the house on fire (he went blind and hit someone in the face with a baseball bat, but that's another story)

• counselling numerous patients, one of whom married her and convinced her to have a baby; they conceived with the help of donor eggs (it was her nemesis whose eggs were mistakenly implanted)

• splitting up with her husband and having to go through a court battle to have access to her son because she'd turned to the drink again

• having hallucinations that her rival was going to take away her man and her baby (that's some strong liquor)

• recovering from an alcohol problem with the help of a boy-toy (her rival's son, no less)

• becoming engaged to the boy-toy

Yet now, when she's just given away her baby to Brooke, she's daydreaming about Ridge. Where the hell did that come from?! And during the time that all the above happened, I can only remember Taylor and Ridge having one memorable exchange: when they were concerned about Feeble Phoebe and Rick. That encounter was one teeny tiny scene - there was no indication of any unresolved issues between the two of them. I remember it because it was unusual to see any interaction between them at all. And let's face facts: they were once a B&B supercouple, but that was rewritten: now Brooke is supposed to be Ridge's one and only. Are they going to rewrite the rewrite?!

I might have been rooting for Brooke way back when, but Taylor always was the one that ended up with Rigid. So, for the writers to suddenly acknowledge that fact is... I don't know, ridiculous, unbelievable, but in some sick way it feels like they might be putting the order of things back the way they should be. Horrible way to get there, though.

And that’s just my initial “what the hell’s?!” I’ll type up the rest tomorrow…

Hunter Tylo joking on set.

She's bold, beautiful and funny!

New blog post on the official B&B site.

I've just posted a new blog entry on the official B&B site:

Would the real Mrs Forrester please stand up?

Who do you think deserves the title Mrs Eric Forrester? And is it even a title to be proud of?!

Is it Donna, ex-underwear model and interim CEO, or meddling battleaxe and long-time matriarch Stephanie?

"Romance."

It's lovely to see Ridge pawing Brooke, isn't it? He treated her like his own personal doormat for years and repeatedly shoved her aside in favour of Taylor. The romance! Sure, Ridge, it's always been Loooowgaan.
It makes my eyes bleed. It really does.
Even though I'm a big Bridget fan, I'm a major Brooke fan too (plus Taylor, which seems almost unheard of on the message boards), and I thought Bricky (Brooke/Nick) had incredible chemistry... it was a breath of fresh air after watching that arrogant ass Ridge treat Brooke like crap year after year.

Now Bricky is tainted too. Who can root for Nick when he screwed Katie before marrying Bridget? Not to mention he screwed Bridget when married to Brooke... he married Taylor and confessed he wanted Brooke... and then went back to Bridget. What is wrong with the guy? Seems like he and Ridgimortis really are brothers. What a pair of pigs.

So, who should Brooke be with? It's gonna take some monumental re-writing to make either Bridge (Brooke/Ridge) or Bricky even mildly palatable.

New column posted on Dear Captain Obvious.

Under the Covers in L.A.
^^ Click through to read all about it.

Special delivery.

Look what Eric received in the post.
Yes, it was his wife, sneaking in to see

the bedridden horny bear.

He, of course, was being held captive by his

demented ex-wife intent on reconciliation.

Oh, Donna. What will the writers come up with next?
Personally, I miss Sheila Carter's Houdini dungeon
(with a cage for Dr James Warwick).

Baby baby.

We all know that Taylor's been having problems bonding with her baby. It isn't so long since the scrambled eggs storyline where she found out she was carrying Brooke's baby. You know, a typical, oh-my-God-the-eggs-of-my-rival-have-been-mistakenly-implanted-in-my-womb kind of story. For a while it looked like Taylor and Nick might work things out. Hell, their marriage lasted a year, which is unusual given the trend: partner-swapping like you're changing your pants. Oh, you slept with my son/daughter, no problemo, let's screw!
Needless to say, Brooke and Taylor have never been BFFs.
In fact, Taylor looked like she was about to empty her bedpan over Brooke's head when she heard about the egg switch.
Now, the signs are showing that something isn't working in Taylor's relationship with her baby. Call me cynical, but this is a cheap storyline with the underlying message: DNA is all-and-everything. That, Mr Bell, Ms Alden, is complete nonsense.

Having said that, pitting Taylor and Brooke against each other again gets B&B back to the core of what it's about. We may complain about recycled storylines, but who doesn't like seeing Brooke and Taylor in some drama? It sure beat beats the Katie saga being shoved down our throats 24/7. Man, The Perils of Katiekins really was tiring (gets shot in the heart, brother commits suicide, has her brother's heart implanted in her, starts to reject his heart, almost dies - if only! - has pre-death sex with her niece's partner who she bonded with over pistachios and puzzles, gets pregnant by him... need I say more?).
Anyway, I digress. Taylor's having trouble with the TayTot.
And guess who's there to express her concerns about baby Jack. Oh yeah, it's Brooke. Understandably, that pissed Taylor off.
She started doing the chicken dance again. She must've been really cross - I only do the chicken dance when I'm furious.
After the chicken dance Taylor gave Brooke the look, the don't f^ck with me blondie look.
So, in summation: happy to see Brooke and Taylor centre stage again, not so thrilled with where the storyline's heading.

Anyone can see this is going to drive a wedge between Brooke and Ridge (and I hate that pairing, so that's a plus), it's going to drive Brooke and Nick together (I used to love that couple, but seriously... after marrying her daughter and screwing her sister, the romance is gonna be hard to recapture) and supposedly reuniting Taylor and Ridge...

Is it just musical beds #3,475 or is there hope?! I'm on the fence.

Pamdemonium.

So, Pam's on the loose with a gun...

here's where I'd like her to aim next:

You got that, Pam?!
Oh, Pammy, I ask you to do ONE SIMPLE THING.

What is wrong with you?!

New column posted on Dear Captain Obvious.

Under the Covers in L.A. (CLICK IT, DAMN YOU!)

Patriarch's foot bath!

Psychiatrist's baby worries!

Drippy sourpuss in pregnancy shocker!

All this and more in my new column over at Dear Captain Obvious. I've changed the format from my previous Dear Captain Obvious columns (hopefully it's funnier). Drop me an email or leave a comment if you have any feedback.

Heather Tom at the 2008 Nautica Malibu Triathlon.

Heather Tom participates in the 2008 Nautica Malibu Triathlon on September 14th, 2008.

Or maybe it's Katie Logan running for her life now that's we've seen Bridget stand up for herself. Run, Katie, run!

Hi, Katie. Thrilled to hear your dying wish was to screw my husband.

Oh dear, who's that coming down the stairs?

I don't think Bridget is in the mood to feel your bump, Katie.
Bitchface #1:
Bitchface #2:
"Poor, poor pitiful me" face:

Katie: "Nick and I crossed a line we never should have crossed. "

Bridget: "When exactly did you realize that, Katie? Was it right after you had sex on the island, or was it when you came back from Catalina and you saw how concerned I was for you? Or was it at your little prom night when you danced the night away while I stayed up all night searching on a computer trying to find a way to save your life? Or was it on my wedding day that you realized, 'Oh, maybe I shouldn't have slept with her husband'? Oh, no, wait. I've got it. It's when you found out you were pregnant. That's when you realized you had crossed a line when you couldn't hide it from me anymore." Who could show up to make things worse? Nicky boy!

Budge did herself proud and took off her wedding ring. She ditched the Man-Ho. Shame she didn't give him the number for a good hairdresser.Bridget: "I was the best thing that ever happened to you. No one will ever love you like I do. But clearly, it's not enough. Here, you want him? Take him." Ha! Katiekins caught the ring and Bridget left the pair of fools standing there speechless. Like she said, he should've kept his pants on.

Katie reminisces, Bridget cracks...

Katie was hanging out with a bag of pistachios, remembering her magical connection to Nick. Let's see, there was the time she did a puzzle at his house, the time they played mini-hoops, the time he recreated her prom. Oh, and the time he sexed her up when she thought she was dying. The memories! Never mind that Captain Man-Ho was banging her niece at the time, it still gave Katiekins a cheeky little grin:
Ugh.

"That time he was chucking nuts in his gob, that was so special." Across town, on the Shady Marlin, Nick was letting his new wife know that he'd slept with her aunt.

Bridget: "So you're telling me that you had sex with Katie?"
Nick: "Yes."

I kinda figured that might piss her off.

Bridget: "Well, how the hell does her happiness involve sex? Huh? Wow, you must have felt really, really, really important giving that dying lady one last roll in the hay, huh?"

"I can't believe that I have been so naive to think that my aunt and the man that I love and am married to might actually have a little bit of respect for me."

"Do you remember what it did to me when you left me for my mother?"

"... you should have kept your pants on."

Go, Budge! Nick was just "playing a role" and why should that come between them?! He was giving Katie a bit of what she fancied before she kicked the bucket, that was all.

Ah, of course. So, Bridget shouldn't worry you ran off to boink her own mother when your first marriage fell apart? She shouldn't worry that after marrying and breaking up with her mother, you ended up chasing (then marrying) Taylor? She shouldn't worry that when you finally turned your attention back to Bridget (and she'd moved into your house) you banged her aunt? What's that you say, Nicky boy?

Nick: "Bridget... she's pregnant. She's pregnant, and it's my child." Well, that's great, isn't it Bridget?
Bridget: "Marriage is between two people, Nick, not three plus a love child with another woman."

Nick: "Don't forget about Jack, your stepson. That boy loves you."

Stepson, yes. Biological half-brother too. It's all too much!

Marone Macaroni dishes: favourite search engine queries that brought people here.

1. "why does ronn moss wear his hair over his ears"
Because he is a Vulcan.

2. "why does ridge from bold and the beautiful always have his hair over his ears?"
I assume this was asked by the same person. The answer remains the same: because he is a Vulcan.

3. "IS THAT RONN MOSS'S REAL HAIR?"
Seriously, you guys, shut up about Ronn Moss's hair.

4. "bold and beautiful taylor's hair cut"
Which hair cut - the new-ish one? I much prefer her current look to this:
5. "macaroni dishes"
Ha, I just fooled you again with the title of this post. Sorry!

6. "bold and beautiful pam's lemon bar recipe"

Tasty lemon bars that put consumers into a coma. Yum.

7. "email address for writers at B&B"
Have they made you cross? I'll bet they wouldn't like you when you're cross, would they?

Things to do...

Death in Daytime.

Eileen Davidson, who'll soon be making the jump back to Y&R from B&B, has written a novel. Here's the product description from Amazon:

"First in a fun new soap opera MYSTERY series—written by an Emmy®-nominated soap star...

She’s bold. She’s beautiful. And she’s about to go to jail for murder...

Soap opera actress Alexis Peterson has starred in the nation’s top soap opera for almost 20 years. But her career takes a nose-dive when Marcy Blanchard is hired as the head writer. Little did Alexis realize that Marcy’s been holding a grudge all these years—and is ready to take her revenge.

So when Marcy turns up dead, bludgeoned to death with her Emmy®, no one is surprised that Alexis is the prime suspect. No one except Alexis, that is, who knows she has to take matters into her own hands if she wants to avoid being arrested for a crime she didn’t commit—and becoming the real killer’s next victim... "

The book hits stores on October 7th.

Brandon Beemer parties with Pooh Bear (not Honey bear).

Brandon Beemer attending producer Jason 'Pooh Bear' (NOT 'Honey bear') Boyd's birthday celebration at Boulevard3 on September 5th, 2008 in Hollywood. Below, with DAYS actress Arianne Zucker at the same event.