What they might have said:

Kyle Lowder's celeb basketball tour.

Just imagine you're aiming it at Nick Marone's head, Rick:

Kyle Lowder attending CitySpot Hollywood V.I.P. party as part of the Hollywood Knights Norway Tour (August 15th, 2008 in Bergen, Norway).

Actor Stephen Colletti (L), director Jon Chu, music recording artist Aaron Carter, actors Adrian R'Mante, Paula Trickey, Josh Henderson, Denyce Lawton, Kyle Lowder, American Idol Blake Lewis, model Marcus Schenckenberg, actresses Andrea Bowen, Joy Lauren, American Idol Chris Richardson and actor Wesley Johnson participate in the 'Team Press Conference' as part of the Hollywood Knights Norway Tour on August 14th, 2008 in Bergen, Norway.

Official site: http://www.hollywoodknights.com/newsite/index.php

Ronn Moss engaged.

Ronn Moss and Devin DeVasquez recently announced their engagement. The happy couple:Official Ronn Moss MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/ronnmoss (you may want to turn the volumn down before clicking through... joking!)

Hearing voices, seeing a ghost and being chased by a seamonster.

Yes, I did just type that.

So, we have Ridge hearing voices from beyond (Eric in his coma), Katie seeing her dead brother's ghost and then imagining him turning into a seamonster. A seamonster. A seamonster that looks like The frikkin' Joker. What. The. F^ck?

This was intercut with shots of Bridget reading ancient monk's letters (or something) about "dark" and "light" to Brooke and pondering the deeper meaning of life/love... oh, because, um, Brooke and Bridget often bond over scriptures whilst Katie imagines seamonsters are going to eat her. Typical day, yeah???????? Kay Alden (or whoever is writing this tosh), I know I congratulated you the other week, but that is no reason to celebrate with drugs. Put down the crack pipe. Stop this madness.

Anyway, lovely to see Bridget get some lovin' (shame he's old enough to be her father and has a habit of porking her mother, but whatever... in B&B terms, these days it passes for romance):

Kind of took a turn for the worse when Katie discovered she was carrying Nick's child though. Yes, she'd been porked too. By Nick. Offscreen, on Catalina, when Pity-Me Katie (Tickle Me Elmo for depressives) thought she was dying. Look at the shock on her face:

Woman has sex, gets pregnant. I thought she was smart? Maybe when she didn't die, she might have taken a pregnancy test? Yeah, I know she was ill, but that didn't stop her roll in the sand with Nick, did it? Way to go, Katie, get preggers by your niece/BFF's husband. Troll.

She told Nick. It was a very serious moment.
Then she saw her dead brother:

He beckoned her into the water. He then turned into (The Joker AKA) a seamonster and tried to catch her (or some silly sh!t), and then Katie realised she was daydreaming. God, I wish I'd been daydreaming instead of watching that. Too too weird. I only tuned in for some romance, boardroom intrigue and maybe a fashion show. NOT A FRIKKIN' SEAMONSTER!

The end result? Katie and Nick are going to lie to Bridget until the last possible moment and they consider her pregnancy "a miracle". Great, how romantic. The pair of them are sickening right now. Yeah, Nick, despite letting Bridget down again and again, it seemed like a good idea to get down to it with her aunt right before marrying Bridget, did it? Oh, Katie was dying? That's okay, then - most people shag their dying in-laws to cheer them up. Her pregnancy "has to be happening for a reason" does it? It's "meant to be," is it? My ass it is. Go on, have a hug, you pair of sickos:

Tarzan did okay.

Much as I despise Ridge and cannot bear to watch his and Brooke's non-stop shagathon, when he actually got round to putting his clothes on I didn't mind him. Okay, I minded him being his usual smug-ass self in the boardroom, but when he broke down at Eric's bedside he wasn't all that bad: no jazz hands, no steeple hands... my goodness, has Ronn been taking acting lessons?! I still maintain they should make him a real villain type character - it suits his warped sense of self-entitlement and incredidble pomposity. But darn, he was not bad.

What's g-Owen on?

Apologies for the bad pun. But, seriously, what is going on with Owen? He's snogging Donna:

She's taken aback:And then it looks like he might have poisoned Eric. He bought Eric some gin, Eric drank the gin and collapsed, Owen poured the gin down the sink to stop Donna drinking any. Please, don't let this be as simple as it seems... I'm thinking there's something else going on with Owen, and he's not just a typical villain. Make it so! He needs to stick around and steam up the screen with Felicia and Bridget (when she escapes from the increasingly icky Nicky).

Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Emmy's 60th Year - A Tribute to Betty White.

John McCook and the Betty White at the Betty White tribute, held at the Leonard H. Goldenson Theatre (Hollywood!) on August 7, 2008.

The lovely Ashley Jones at the Betty White tribute.

Better than Katie's doily dress.

Heather Tom arriving at a special screening of 'Hell Ride' at the Egyptian Theater (Hollywood!) on July 31, 2008.

When doesn't KKL look stunning?

Katherine Kelly Lang supporting The David Lynch Foundation at the Key Club (Hollywood!) on July 16, 2008.

Marone Macaroni is back...

.,.. but, I'm still catching up on episodes and picking my jaw up off the ground (Nick porked Katiekins off-screen... gross). I'll post soon... in the meantime, here are a few recent snaps of the cast out and about. Oh, they're so glamorous!