Insane in the brain.

Crazy lady Pam was lured to Eric's mansion. She thought her momma was ill. It was all a ploy to get hold of the nutcase and stop her reign of animal terror (bear attacks and deadly snakes, that kind of thing).

Loopy Lou seemed to show some remorse.
She could bear-ly believe what she'd done.
And then she collapsed; it was terribly dramatic.

Pammy, apparently, is one of daytime soaps' brain tumour killers. Like Jana on Y&R we're expected to believe it was da brain tumour what made me do it. Oh well, I guess I'm glad they kept serial killer ("dead dog, dead dog") Jana around, and I feel the same about Pam. I just hope they don't turn Pam into a dippy hippy dispensing advice over her manky old Ouija board.

Pamdemonium.

So, Pam's on the loose with a gun...

here's where I'd like her to aim next:

You got that, Pam?!
Oh, Pammy, I ask you to do ONE SIMPLE THING.

What is wrong with you?!

It was Owen!

Or was it?! Owen 'fessed up:

Brooke was blindsided. Donna felt shocked and betrayed. Lieutenant Baker was daydreaming about hot dogs:

Despite his confession, we pretty much know that Owen didn't poison Eric - he only said that to protect Donna, who he wants to be with. You know, in a special way. So, who did poison Honeybear? In a delightfully campy montage, we were presented with the suspects. My money's on that crazy fruitloop Pam:

1. Jackie: No! She had a thang for Eric. Unless she's suddenly gone postal, it seems ludicrous that she'd poison the old goat.

2. Beth: I don't think so. Yes, Eric's been a Man-Ho bedding two of her daughters, but Beth doesn't appear to get too upset about any of it. Hell, she barely batted an eyelid when her daughter told Beth she was pregnant with Beth's granddaughter's husband's baby.

3. Brooke: puh-lease. No way.

4. Ridge: Um, no.

5. Stephanie: Come off it. No matter what he's done, she wouldn't try to kill her ex.

6. Donna: Not even Donna's dumb enough to leave potassium in her pant drawer. It was a set up!

7. Stephen: Okay, maybe. He did look awfully pissed off reminiscing about Eric's shenanigans with his ex-wife and daughters. It's possible he finally cracked...

8. Marcus: Possibly, if he's not actually Donna's son. It could all be a scam to get his mitts on the readies. I doubt it though.

9. Owen: He's protecting Donna, c'mon, it ain't him.

10. Felicia: This is the woman who cried when "daddy" broke up his dysfunctional marriage to Stephanie. She has too much invested in trying to reunite her parents. I could buy her going for Donna, but not daddy.

11. Pam: Not sure of the motive, but I can see the teabag gobbling loon being the culprit. She's off her meds, I swear.

Daughters marry their mother's ex-husbands. Fact.

Meddling Mother of the week:
Jackie, you really need to keep your nose out of Nick's business. All she ever seems to do these days is pimp out alternate Logan sisters for her 79 year old son.

Hot bedroom scene of the week:
Taylor and Rick! Those two were getting jiggy wi' it and showing Brooke a thing or two in the bedroom department. Taylor deserves some hot lovin' after Nick treated her like a doormat.
WTF moment of the week #1:
Donna called it like it was - WTF was Katie doing planning Budge's wedding? Which leads to...

Wedding planner of the week:
Katiekins. J.Lo's got nothing on her. How quick did she sort that out? Not so half-dead anymore, is she? And then she was deputised as a Justice of the Peace? She's a Jack of all trades, old Katiekins.

WTF moment of the week #2:
Oh my gosh, thought Donna, I just threw a frisbee over in the bushes and when I went to fetch it I discovered a hot guy in the undergrowth. I'll invite him to the party. Like, ohmigod, awesome!

WTF moment of the week #3:
Why is Beth so calm about another of her daughters marrying her ex?! Surely she'd be a bit more what is wrong with you crazy bitches?

Bizarre scene with a half-naked man smoking a cigar of the week:
Nick. No further comments.

Back-tracker of the week:
Brooke: "I just want to see you happy."
Yeah, Brooke, like when you jumped straight into bed with Nick after Bridget lost her baby? Or, like the time you banged (and banged AND BANGED) her first husband? I love Brooke the most, but what a hypocrite. Mother of the Year, fersure!

Skank of the week:
Donna encouraging Katie to snag Nick for herself. Nice way to treat your niece, Donna. Frikkin' trampy ho-bag.

Schizo of the week:
Pam, the lovable loony, organising miniature hot tamales for Bridget and Nick's engagement party. "You are what you eat!"

Interruption of the week:
Katie: "I can't, um - (sniffles) this is wrong. I-I-it's not right. It - you all seem to think you know how I feel about these two, but I don't think I really knew until I was standing up here in front of them, watching them commit their lives to each other. There's something I need to say. This wedding can't go on until you know how I really feel."
Bitch, put a sock in it - now is not the time.

"You must be the father of the home-wreaking slut."

Pam gets all the best lines. The doggy bone brooch is cute too. And her fantasy about spraying Donna and Pop with water was hilarious. Jennifer Gareis has really made Donna her own; her squealing always raises a smile.

PS when I started writing this blog I was fully intending to make sardonic comments and get my snark on about what bugged me on the show, but I'm loving what's happening right now. Somebody fetch me a lemon bar, I think I'm crazy too.

"I wanna march over there right now and hold that empty little head underwater."

Pam sure is one crazy cookie. Am I the only one who started reminiscing about the infamous Sheila/Lauren poolside catfight?! Man, those were the days.

Felicia telling Thorne (about his daughter Allie), "it's your job as a parent to keep her away from pornography. That's what [the wedding] is."

I love how it's stirring the pot. Donna is in for a rough ride if she ties the knot with Eric, that's for sure.

Doggy Funeral.

Thorne's accusation was damning: "You threw enough pastries to kill a horse."

"For the last time, the vet said it was his heart." So, Donna isn't a lemon bar canine killer. Phew.

"I'm not your dear, you old bitch."

Donna and Pam = funny. Donna's been getting some good, campy lines: "I don't know whether to laugh at you or call security." So has Pam: "I never knew what it was to be loved before him." She was talking about her dead dog, Tiny, of course.

Lemon bars.

Did she say they were sugar free? I really want the recipe... at least, I did till I saw what they did to Tiny, RIP.

Previously on The Bold and the Beautiful...

I've been away, hence my lack of posts (not that anyone is reading... yet!). Despite being in Africa (it was nice, thanks for asking) I still had the chance to catch B&B - I saw an ad for "Soapies at 6" on SABC1; I thought... could it be?! It was - B&B! Unfortunately, it was a year and half old, dating back to the rather tedious Thorne and Taylor romance. It was the week of the wedding-that-never-was, owing to the demonic/Eastern European-sounding Ali, who scribbled on Taylor's photo and cut up her wedding dress. Oh dear. She should also have written I need acting lessons with her crayons. At least some sparks flew in Taylor's scenes with Nick, but we know how that ended :(

Jackie was still having headaches (what happened to those?!) and Pammy was still taking her medication and dressing like a 50's housewife. How times have changed - now she's tormenting Donna and eating teabags. Dems tasty teabags, fersure.

Anyway, my point is I had a little B&B entertainment to tide me over, but I'm going to jump back into the thick of things today by watching a week's worth of episodes and offering up my thoughts/wisdom/innane drivel soon, if it doesn't send me catatonic (not too many Phoebe scenes, please).