Brooke:"... a very sick relationship..."

Gee, your son's gonna be thrilled how you view him and Taylor. You've never screwed your daughter's boyfriend? Oh, right, it was your daughter's husband, I forgot.

Taylor was right on the money when she said to Rick, "with you it's just me." Her last two husbands have both worshipped at the altar of Saint Brooke, Patron Saint of Sluts from the Valley.

So, Taylor handed back Rick the engagement ring, determined not to hurt her daughter. The day after that Rick says, "Taylor, marry me." And Feeble Phoebe has given her blessing - what's it gonna be? What's up, Doc?"

PS Sorry for the Brooke bashing (I love her more than chocolate cake), but she's pissing me off.

I love me some Brooke…

… but, isn’t she being a tad hypocritical?! Why the outcry over Taylor getting some from Brooke’s son Rick? He’s, like, 30. He can do what he wants. He split up with Phoebe ages ago.

Didn’t Brooke go one step further than Taylor by bedding her own daughter’s husband and having his child? Why exactly is Taylor such bad news for Rick? Phoebe will get over it, just like Bridget got over Brooke’s betrayal, only that was way worse:

- Phoebe wasn’t even with Rick when her mother (Taylor) and he decided to smooch
- Brooke, on the other hand, took her daughter’s husband to bed (several times!) and got pregnant with his child

What’s that old phrase about a pot and a kettle?! Brooke is still my fave, but really… she needs to zip it. By that, I mean her mouth (though there are many occasions she should’ve kept her pants zipped too).

All about Eric.

Following on (and somewhat contradicting) my last post... so, it's all about Eric. Even though there is a brats vs. skanks element, it looks like the most focused-upon part of this storyline is going to be Eric's downfall from Forrester Creations and the big reveal about Donna's long-lost son. I'm crossing my fingers Felicia gets a chance to get her snark on a few more times. If she doesn't get her own storyline soon (which looks unlikely), it'll be fun watching her bitchy putdowns. Although she's a little baby - why does she call Eric "daddy" when she's pushing 40?! - when she's a stroppy, sarcastic madam she cracks me up.

"I see somebody took their nasty pill this morning."

Brooke was on the money about Felicia. What a bitch; can't help but like her though. Looks like the Forresters vs. the Logans is going to be fun to watch, not least because it brings in the peripheral characters who all too often get sidelined. And it helps me see why Phoebe is such an annoying brat if she looked up to Ridge, Felicia and Thorne. Brats vs. skanks? Me, I'm an honorary skank.

"Ridge, you take a stand against my family, you take a stand against me." How many freakin' times are Ridge and Brooke going to get together, only for something to drive a wedge between them? Sweet baby Jesus, I hate this couple, why can't Brooke have an epiphany and say, "ah, you're not all that, in fact you're a turd. Goodbye Ridge." If only. Go, Team Skank!

Donna & son.

This storyline could have legs. There is some resemblance and Jennifer Gareis's acting has impressed me. If someone had told me back when she was sucking face with Ridge (those were excruciating scenes) that she'd be this good now, I would've said no sirree, she needs to be off this show PRONTO. Storylines about the death of her brother, or connecting with the child she gave away at birth? That would've seemed like Chinese water torture, but she's doing a good job. Gosh darn, I'm enjoying it.

Daytime drama all too soon writes characters into corners and ends up killing them or turning them into psychopaths. In this case, it's been an unexpected pleasure to watch JG's Donna grow. Shame we didn't get the same chance with William de Vry's Storm (fantastic though his exit story was - well, not so much the story, but the aftermath).

One other thing, when Donna said, "do you mind if I borrow your office?" Why didn't Eric say, "of course, it's the only Forrester Creations set we have, aside from the corridor where the receptionist sits." Okay, Donna got locked in the steam room once, but where does everybody else work?!

"Mother, what are you doing?"

Phoebe, honey, she’s feeling up your ex. I think they call it second base. Didn't you learn anything at your fancy European school? They’re on mommy's bed and Rick's ready to play hide the sausage.

Shame that MacKenzie Mauzy doesn’t have a smidgen more attitude as Phoebe – it could’ve rocked if she’d totally wigged out on Rick and Taylor. As it is, her snivelling and dribbling isn’t really cutting the mustard. She seems bratty and I don’t much care if she’s upset. So, Taylor has to dump Rick to get the snivelling one’s approval?! Oh, Phoebe, shut up and go play with your Barbie. Momma needs some lovin' too.

A Nick and Katie moment.

Heather Tom is awesome, truly awesome. Her reaction to the post-operation scar, her interactions with Nick, how he treated the scar on her chest - it all rang true. “It’s a lot harder for you to look at a scar like that than it is for me.” When he said that, I believed him. Few other words were exchanged, but that scene really hit the mark - their understated chemistry and tenderness with each other is pretty damn subtle for this show.

Ex-boyfriend and mommy gettin’ jiggy wi’ it.

Urgh. Much as I hate to see Phoebe on the show (sorry, that’s mean, but ever since that Constantine drivel I cannot stand to watch her), it made for great soap to have her walk in on Taylor and Rick. Ooops, her ex is in bed (um, not having sex, but whatever) with her mother! I hope she’s got the screen presence to convincingly let rip on them both. C’mon, bring it, MacKenzie Mauzy – show us there’s more to your repertoire than duetting with a creepy zombie and getting makeovers.

“It’s not really the honeymoon thing this time, it’s more about Jack.”

Ah, Nick said that about his relationship with Bridget? Could the writers make it any more obvious?! She should be looking for the quickest route outta there, not unpacking her suitcases. At least Eric stood up for her (in that emasculated, half-arsed way he has) by questioning Nick’s motives towards Budge. He should’ve pressed harder, but I guess all his energy is taken up popping viagra and playing Honeybear for Donna.

Oh, gee...

... I wonder who Katie will stay with for her recuperation?

True, Nick and Katie’s montage was pretty sweet. True, they have good chemistry and they’re both fantastic actors. But Bridget just moved in with Nick! Katie shouldn't be there if Nick is going to make goo-goo eyes at her.

Budge wants to help Katie – she’s too kind, she's head-over-heels and (once again) she can’t see what’s right in front of her face. Nick needs to grow a pair of balls and ditch Bridget soon. While I liked watching them run off with a wheelchair-bound Katie, it’s going to get pretty ugly when Bridget is hung out to dry again. What is wrong with him? What an ass. Anyone with half a brain cell can see he’s going to start feeling Katie up in her wheelchair in a matter of weeks. Hope there are no stray pistachios up there.

"Any surprises that Donna brings to this marriage will be happy ones."

You think, Eric, you think?! Nice foreshadowing - I spot an unhappy surprise coming up. Something like a son she gave away at birth, maybe?

And I loved Stephers calling her "Grandma Donna". Too funny. Grandma Donna? Hot Tamale? You decide!

Hired help or long-lost son?

"If you're not with the caterers then who are you?" Oh, Donna, don't you recognise him? It's only been a few decades (actually - how old is Marcus supposed to be? Apparently, the actor is 31, but whatever...)

"Are you my mother?" Are you Donna, are you?!

Stephanie and Taylor...

... that's their first scene together in Lord knows how long. I miss those two being friends (albeit in a twisted way), shame it's not going to happen again any time soon... once Stephers finds out Taylor's bedding Rick it ain't gonna be pretty. No, Sirree.

The memorial service.

Just a few observations:

• Why are the Forrester siblings such whiny brats? Felicia is the biggest bitch of all, but doesn't seem to remember any of her own misdeeds; she really is Stephanie's daughter. Hypocrites, the lot of them.


• Why did Ashley speak at the funeral? I guess Storm didn't know many people?!


• I know Katie's just had a heart transplant and is suffering from grief/trauma, but man, she was dressed like an old frump.


• Oh, she was dressed like that so she could unbutton her dress and show us her scar. Yikes! That was a shocker. Heather Tom really is a great addition to B&B.

What about Bridget?!

Much as I love Katie and Nick together, and seeing them get closer as she tries to deal with what's happened (Storm's suicide, her heart transplant), I wish the writers would properly address the Budge issue.

Now she's homeless - after relinquishing the beach house to Stephanie - and Nick is ready to take her in. Buuuut, then he's sharing another "moment" with Katie as Brooke looks on (enviously?!). Katie may have encouraged Nick to take Bridget in, but he was way too eager to agree... it's stoopid, this is going to blow up in their faces. Katie and Nick are clearly being set up as the next big couple. Budge is going to fall by the wayside, again. Please let this be the end of Nick jerking her around. Just stick him with Katie and be done with it. Leave Bridget a little dignity. Please.

Somebody needs to drag Beth back to town.

So, she's ill. Buuuuut, she's missed her daughter's wedding (along with the previous attempted marriage to Thorne), her son's death and memorial service, her other daughter's heart transplant. My gosh, Beth, what does it take to get you to haul your sickly ass back to LA?!

"The Shot by Storm Club."

Stephanie and Katie were great together, bonding in the hospital room. There was some funny dialogue too, to lighten the mood, like Stephers saying they were similar in that they "had a couple of broken hearts." Pun intended, I'm sure. And "the shot by Storm club"?! She did say that, right?!

Katie had some powerful scenes alongside Patrick Duffy's Stephen too, but it did highlight one flaw... TPTB should really spend more time setting up friendship/non-romantic relationships on the show, because if that had been done, we'd be so much more invested in Katie's struggle. A few more brother/sister interactions and family moments over the preceding months would've pushed the great drama of the last few weeks into the realm of brilliance. Maybe I exaggerate a bit, but you know what I mean.

Brooke & Ridge engagement #863

Bleurgh. Whatever. I don't want to watch this revolting relationship anymore. I would say that both actors are capable of much better, but I'm sick to the back teeth of Ridge, and couldn't care less if he flies to the moon and never returns. KKL's Brooke, on the other hand, has already proved she can shine outside of this silly Bridge "love" story. End it!

I can just about stomach Ridge with Ashley, but I'd much prefer her back at Y&R vying for Victor's attentions instead of the ridiculous Sabrina character - ooh la la, je parle francais, j'adore ma petit choux-fleur. In fact, here's a thought - Ridge and Ashley could marry in Genoa City, then Ridge could run off with Sabrina. Actually, the best place for them to run off to would be a wooden lodge, with wooden walls and a wooden roof - they'd fit right in.

Oops, he did it again.

But this time Eric married a different Logan. Most of the attendees looked a little surprised that it was all going ahead, but Stephanie's face was a picture. Susan Flannery's Stephanie stole the show again - necking her champagne after saying goodbye to Eric (forever?), that was cool. And then the flashbacks she had whilst watching Eric and Donna dance. It was fitting end to the week, "Goodbye Eric, be happy," before being driven away. When the dust settles, I don't think she's really going to be walking away from all things Forrester quite so easily.

Ugly shirt.

I'm still a sucker for Katie and Nick scenes; I think they could be a first-class couple, given the right storylines/writing. But, seriously, what was that shirt he was wearing?! Maybe this picture doesn't do it justice... it was darker blue at the top, then kind of faded quarter of the way down to lighter blue. Where'd he get that old rag? Must be another Jackie M original.

Congratulations.

You just married another of my daughters! No wonder Stephen felt insecure around Eric all those years ago, the horny old goat can't keep his hands off the Logan ladies.

Did anybody else...

... start dry heaving when there was a close-up of Ridge hugging Bridget?

This is where the writers seem to have forgotten the history: I thought I was your father, then I found out my father was your father, then I found out my father wasn't my father, so it was okay to tongue you when I wasn't tonguing your mother. Really, I'd prefer if Ridge didn't touch Bridget.

OH MY GOD, ERIC TURNED...

... just as he was about to say, "I do."

Donna and Eric may be a bit gross together, but I don't find them that objectionable. They both get something they want from the other. With that in mind, I'm hoping the wedding goes ahead.

Caroline.

They mentioned Caroline's dying wish: for Brooke and Ridge to be together. That's like 20-year-old history, and even though Brooke and Ridge as a couple make me want to gauge out my own eyes... I love, love, love the fact that the writers acknowledge what's gone before. Stuff like that is why we watch soaps.

"You must be the father of the home-wreaking slut."

Pam gets all the best lines. The doggy bone brooch is cute too. And her fantasy about spraying Donna and Pop with water was hilarious. Jennifer Gareis has really made Donna her own; her squealing always raises a smile.

PS when I started writing this blog I was fully intending to make sardonic comments and get my snark on about what bugged me on the show, but I'm loving what's happening right now. Somebody fetch me a lemon bar, I think I'm crazy too.

Woah! Taylor and Rick showed up at the wedding.

And what the f^ck was going on with her hair?! I'm getting old myself, so I understand Taylor's motivation, but she just looked so hi Rick, wanna go to the prom with me?

Gotta love Brooke going apeshit on her too: "on the terrace, now!" True, though, Phoebe will go mental when she hears.

Who doesn't love the Brooke and Stephanie showdowns?

Brooke rubbing Stephanie's nose in it always rocks, and vice versa. Stephanie must've skipped a heartbeat when Brooke reminded her of her misdeeds:

• Stephanie wasn't pregnant with Eric's kid when they got married (it was Massimo's)


• Stephanie faked a heart attack to keep Brooke apart from Ridge


• Stephanie "accidentally" sent a rapist after Brooke to get her kids taken away

Stephers, you gotta admit, that sounds bad. And as Brooke said, "we are the new Forresters and you are going to be the troublemaker who'd best be on her best behaviour. On the outside looking in." Brooke was looking awfully smug, but there's so much history between them, who doesn't love it when these two go up against each other?

"I wanna march over there right now and hold that empty little head underwater."

Pam sure is one crazy cookie. Am I the only one who started reminiscing about the infamous Sheila/Lauren poolside catfight?! Man, those were the days.

Felicia telling Thorne (about his daughter Allie), "it's your job as a parent to keep her away from pornography. That's what [the wedding] is."

I love how it's stirring the pot. Donna is in for a rough ride if she ties the knot with Eric, that's for sure.

The wedding goes ahead?!

Talk about breakneck speed. Donna's catching up with Brooke in the Forrester-men-bedding competition. Too bad Ridge never put out. Actually, scratch that, Donna and Ridge together is one image I can live without. Remember their "romance"? Bleurgh.

Anyway, Eric and Donna's wedding, I say, bring it on. They're a bit icky, but this could bring some good drama. It's nice to see a lot of the cast involved in various storylines and the repercussions from what they do affecting their interactions in different situations. I'm waiting to see how Taylor and Rick react (and how others view them) at the wedding.

Eric has a best man too - Rick, "what am I, chopped liver?" Just because his other sons (I'm including Ridge) are disgusted, doesn't mean Ricky boy can't stand up for Honeybear, um... I mean Eric. I gots me a good feeling this wedding will be fun to watch. With all the conflicts and overlapping dramas, something is bound to hit the fan. But, I'm the fan. Ouch. Really, that hurts.

Bridget, get outta there.

At least Nick gave her some reassurance when she was falling apart. With one hand he giveth, with the other hand he taketh away. Or whatever the phrase is. It's as obvious as the nose on my face (and, believe me, since the botched nose job, that's pretty obvious), he's gonna treat Budge like crap again. That's something I don't want to see. I hope she reads him the riot act when he ditches her. And shoves pistachios up his nostrils.

Stephanie the magnificent.

Huh? How has Stephanie (AKA Satanie) become sweetness and light all of a sudden?! The beast has been defanged. C'mon, everybody loves watching the manipulative, twisted stunts she pulls. What's happening? Eric and Donna are about to ride off into the sunset and Stephanie doesn't even hire a detective to look into Donna's past, or set her up in some sick scam?!

Then it hit me - they're showing the other side of the monster, the heart of Stephers. Susan Flannery is great, she filled those scenes with tenderness, hurt and pathos. It's great to watch, and the next time she goes to the dark side, it will be all the more powerful. I think the writers may know what they're doing. I said may.

Katie's dilemma.

Of course she's upset. What a situation. Way more affecting, and effective, than I thought I'd see on B&B anytime soon. A brother that kills himself so that his sister can live? "I should be dead. I wish I was dead." Heather Tom can act, she really can, and her unwillingness to accept what Storm did as "heroism" is echoing some fans' opinions, that's for sure.

Brooke is breaking my heart justifying the reasoning behind Storm's suicide. But, it's Katie's torment that is harrowing (did I really say harrowing in a B&B post?!). "Because of me, my brother committed suicide." She knows she can't turn it into something that isn't ugly, something that's "a gift." She can't imagine ever being able to accept what has happened, and is convinced it will haunt her until she dies. The forthright, moralistic and stubborn Logan has a dilemma, and it makes for brilliant, engaging, sorrowful drama.

Kick? Natie?

Okay, I have to say that Nick offering Katie pistachios (and then scotch via the IV drip!) was endearing. The writers are selling this pair to me, big time. If we are getting a romance with humour, warmth and loyalty I'll be happy. Both actors are more than capable.

Looks like the Bricky ship has sailed (sigh), but at least Nick seems to have finally got over Brooke, the Siren. If he ends up being a jerk like he was to both Taylor and Bridget (plus, it's gonna happen again to Bridget... poor Budge), I will scream. And shove pistachios up his nostrils. And then piss on the Shady Marlin.

Geez, Brooke...

... why get that bloody letter out?! Katie's had a heart transplant, you're going to give her a freaking heart attack. She really doesn't need to know that Storm shot himself so she can live. She's critically ill, don't freak her out!

But, that letter, "I'll be doing what my heart knows how to do, without my head screwing it up." Followed by Katie's, "where's Storm?" over and over, that was heartbreaking. When I started writing this blog a month ago, I never thought I'd be writing about B&B scenes that affected me so much. Maybe I need to change my medication.

Stephen showing up got me too, but I'm glad Storm's been cremated as I don't think I could cope with anyone else talking to Storm's dead body. Seriously, I'm on the floor weeping into a blanket here.

Just when I thought it was okay to put the handkerchief down, Katie's body starts to reject the heart! Please, no! Why'd they have to tell her about Storm? Argh! "I don't want Storm's heart, I want Storm." Thank God they ended the week with the news that she'll survive.

PS Storm talking to her from heaven was schmaltzy. I prefer to think it was Katie's meds/situation - that girl's just had some crazy shit happen to her, she's allowed a hallucination or two. If I'd been through what she's been through, dead people talking to me would finish me off.

PPS why was Nick in the hospital room constantly?! All he did with Katie was eat pistachios and have a quick snog. Oh, I suppose, he is still screwing her niece and was married to her sister. Maybe that's why he's there.

PPPS too much talk about meds in this post, sorry. I've been watching Grey's Anatomy (couldn't you strangle Meredith?).

Emmy voters, please switch on your televisions.

When Donna and Brooke had scenes with Storm's body - chills. Chills. If any year out of KKL's 20 year tenure on B&B is worthy of an Emmy, it is the stuff she is doing now. I really hope it happens for her next year. She deserves it.

On a less serious note: Bridget! Last year she was implanting the wrong eggs in Taylor, now she's a heart surgeon?! I'm surprised she didn't show up and try and revive Tiny at last week's doggy funeral.

OH MY GOD - IT WORKED! Katie's alive! The close-up of the heart, the monitors, the music... dang, they got me again. Like I said before, "this is what it's all about."