Taylor

Sunday, 29 June 2008

"Marcus is Donna's son."

So, what did Phoebe do when she overheard (the nosey wench!) that Marcus was Donna’s son? She went running to daddy, which in turn led to the bratty Forrester siblings plotting to reveal all to Eric. Ridge was smug as ever: "oh, trust me, there will be a shipment to Texas today. Maybe two of 'em." Lord above, could he be any more of a pompous slimeball?!

Ridge, Felicia and Thorne met up to throw their toys out of the pram together. At least Thorne had a point about "his experience with Donna." Remember when she was in bed with a drunken Thorne, all the while looking at a photo of Stephanie and vowing revenge?! That was almost as scary as watching her crawl across the floor on all fours (dressed as a cat) purring for Eric. The thought of that still makes me shudder.

An awards show B&B can clean up at.

Following last week's prestigious awards ceremony here at Taylor - you're alive! I thought I'd roll out the red carpet again and hand over a few more gongs. Without further delay, here are this week's winners...

Snark of the week: Felicia! The evidence:
Thorne: "Behind every great design..."
Felicia: "Is a home-wrecking slut with zero talent in the fashion business."
Ouch. Felicia really is Stephanie’s daughter. What a bitch. Remember that Donna is your step-momma now, Felicia.

Snark of the week #2: Lil' Miss Steffy:
Steffy: "What are you doing down here in shipping?"
Phoebe: "Were you expecting Marcus?"
Steffy: "Careful. Somebody might pack you up and ship you."

Understatement of the week:
Katie telling Nick he "should focus on Bridget." Gee, you think, Katie? Shut up and move out already.

Backbone of the week:
Steffy quite rightly saying, "giving a baby up for adoption is neither a scandal or a crime."

Surprisingly sweet moment of the week:
Eric was actually kind of sweet when he was talking to Donna and Marcus, he wasn’t swayed by his bratty kiddies. Bratty kiddies, that is, who are all over 40 (and doesn’t Lesli Kay look fantastic for it?).

Upfront (so to speak) Logan of the week:
I'm so, so glad that Donna brought up her marriage to Eric as soon as she was alone with Ma Logan. But, would Donna's idea of having a "family get-together" at her and Eric’s house be a good way to reconnect? Wouldn't it remind Beth that two of her daughters have married her ex?! Maybe they can get out the wedding albums and reminisce. Remember that time I hooked up with Eric, mom? I married him a few times, you know. Then Donna did. Oh, mom, if only you’d been here when I got pregnant by my daughter’s husband. Mom, you’d-a been proud!

Administrator of the week:
Marcus, for impressing Eric with his "revised system". Go, admin boy, go! Log those shipments and blow old Honey Bear’s mind.

Shocker of the week:
Beth: "Your mother doesn't exist. She's gone… I've had a stroke, a series of them. My memories are slipping away. They think it might be the onset of dementia."
Woah, I didn’t see that one coming at all. Where is this headed? I’m intrigued.

Monday, 23 June 2008

"Bridget is in the picture, mother. It's a good thing. Because if it weren't for her, Katie wouldn't be around."

Guess what? Oh, you guessed it - Katie confessed she loves Nick. Maybe TPTB thought the Katie/Nick love montages (when he's supposed to be with Bridget) didn't drive the message home for viewers.

Katie (poor, poor just escaped death twice Katie) has a conscience (because that'll make us like her after shoving her down our throats for weeks on end?!). She "would never forgive herself" if she ever hurt Bridget. Yeah, yeah Katie, so "someone would end up getting hurt" if she pursued Nick? Then why doesn't she shut the f^ck up about it? Really, why? Oh, because she has to tell Nick she's "never felt like this before." Yeah, that's gonna turn him off. Did Storm shoot her brains out as well as her heart?! If she actually felt what she was saying, she wouldn't be laying all this crap on Nick, would she? I'm in love with you and no-one has ever made me feel like this, but I don't want to hurt Bridget. My ass you don't - you tongued him! Shut up, half-dead zombie tramp. And move out already.

Nick did say "we have a very passionate relationship" about Bridget. And let's face it, we fans have been watching Bridget and her (mostly toxic) relationships onscreen for years and years. Why should I be expected to jump on the Katie Fan Train now she's flavour of the month at B&B headquarters. It doesn't work like that. A big part of being a soap addict is loving the history elements that are woven into stories. When a newbie (the character had been off canvas for eons, and now she's being played by a different actress) like Katie is suddenly front and centre day-in, day-out, it pisses over everything we have been invested and interested in. What's happened to Nick's obsession over becoming a father and raising his boy? Taylor seems to have completely slipped his mind as well. His Brooke-worship has gone. And we're supposed to believe he gives two shits about Budge. With the Katie Show in full swing, every other Nick relationship is brushed under the carpet, and it's all about Katie. Urgh, it's like the days of old on B&B when every woman in L.A. fell at the feet of Ridge. And wasn't he such an adorable jerk?

As the title of this post suggests, Nick did acknowledge that Budge was "in the picture," but it was a back-handed compliment, pretty much stating thank God Bridget saved Katie, rather than I'm in love with Bridget. If he's not, he should just say it. Nick is starting to come off as delusional - one moment he was determined to father a child, any child, and then he was dementedly trying-out mothers for Jack, and now apparently he's obsessed with Katie, and can't stop daydreaming about that time they ate pistachio nuts or when he recreated her prom. Whatever. And just to endear him a little more to the audience, he's chasing after Katie's M.I.A. mother, Beth, because he's Katie's hero blah blah blah. Such a knight in shining armour that he'll screw Bridget over (again). If this madness doesn't stop I will end up detesting Nick and Katie completely, not just their stupid showmance.

It being awards week, I thought B&B deserved a few...

Devious troll of the week:
Felicia, for rifling through Marcus's bag. And where does she get off bitching about Donna constantly when Felicia herself shows up at work dressed like a streetwalker?!

Sanctimonious Forrester of the week:
Steffy. Damn, I was liking her too. She had to go and say, "I know for a fact [Donna]'s bad for the company." Honey, you don't know shit. Especially when you refer to your twin Feeble Phoebe as "the pretty one." Puh-lease. Buy a mirror. Then get off your high horse when it comes to Donna. Did you not see your Poppa parading her around on TV when it suited him. He didn't mind her lap dancing, uh... modelling, before. And I guess that makes Ridge the runner up in this category.

Set of the week:
Well, it's not the new Forrester gym. I was enjoying the new set till I had the "thrill" of watching Ridge and Brooke snog. Then I had to run to the loo to throw up. This week's winner: The Bikini Bar, last seen during Thorne's mercifully brief drinking phase.

Logan return of the week:
Beth! Does she have a secret? Why the hell didn't she show up before? Hmm, I'm intrigued. Runner up: Stephen; now that was a nice surprise. And in Paris, no less. Lucky Brooke wasn't there to fall off the Eiffel Tower again.