Tuesday 29 July 2008

Marone Macaroni is away.

Will blog again soon - I'm off on holiday! Or maybe Sheila Carter kidnapped me and has me stowed away in the Houdini dungeon. Aaaaaaaaaaargh!

Sunday 27 July 2008

"From now on, I'll be making the decisions."

Yay, way to go, Donna... LA Barbie is now in charge of Forrester Creations!

She's bound to mess it up, but still, it was good to see the bratty 40+ Forrester "children" get what was coming to them... eat that, Ridge! And Thorne and Felicia, you can get the hell out too. Woo hoo!

Stop with the office sex, Ridge and Brooke. Stop it!

After soiling old Honeybear's desk, Brooke and Ridge decided to secrete their bodily fluids on Ridge's office sofa. Better than the time they did it on the bloodstain from Shane's death, at least, but revolting nonetheless. Why does she keep going back to that pig?! I want my Brooke back and I want her to kick Ridge's ass, not kiss it.

The spurting fountain intercut with the couch "loving" was uneccessary too - I get it! And it makes me go, "eeeew."

Nick/Katie blah blah blah.

Their flirtation was a little lame, wasn't it? Really, who cares? They're dull together and have no chemistry as a couple. We've already had Brooke and Nick - and their chemistry was off the chart - there's no reason to pair Nick with yet another Logan, he just married one. Three in a year is a bit much (not so long ago he was making overtures to Brooke, wasn't he? Then Nicket Redux happened, with Katiekins thrown in for "fun").

But it's not fun, it's not interesting, it's not romantic... please end it! In a perfect world, Heather Tom would go back to Y&R as Victoria and Nick would somehow end up back with Brooke. Bridget could get a hot new man, and Ridge could go to... hell. Just saying.

"I'm kind of in love with him," Katie told Beth. Puh-leeeeeeease. Get a grip, he just married your niece, fool. And stop giving him stew, you bloody weirdo.

Katiekins, you need to ask Nick to give back the key to Brooke's house and then you need to concentrate on helping your mother remember recipes, or even teaching her new ones, such as the delicious Marone Macaroni (a recipe passed down from Massimo's ancesters):
Yum!

Stephanie the Great.

She's been reprehensible, she's made me hate her, but when Susan Flannery is hurt and vulnerable, I'm right there with her. When Stephanie sat at Eric's bedside and said, "I love you more than anything in this world," I believed her, I even felt sorry for her. La Flannery has created a monstrous mother like no other.

Felicia - snotty bitch I love you.

Who didn't laugh when Donna was describing being in bed with Eric and Felicia bitched back (with a look queasiness), "oh, please stop."

Later in the week Owen dished the dirt to Donna by exposing Felicia as a blackmailing brat. Felicia thanked him by showing him the back of her hand.

She just can't help herself... always ready to kick up a fuss and sling mud. Typical Forrester! Even when she's calling Eric "daddy" and being a sneaky little troll, I can't help but love watching her. Lesli Kay's Felicia has that spark.

Pompous asshole!

Ugh, I hate Ridge. I really do. But, isn't Ridge a lot more entertaining as a villain? Ronn Moss can carry off those storylines a lot better than when we're supposed to buy him as the romantic hero. Okay, I didn't mind him with Ashley (she went for that other arrogant jerk - Victor Newman over on Y&R) and maybe even Taylor for a good long while, but they really cannot sell Brooke as the love of his life after everything he has done in the past. No way! He was a pig to her, and every time she ends up back with him she regresses to Stepford Brooke, and that is not the Brooke that I am a fan of. This pairing sucks the life out of her. Make it stop, I am nauseous.

And why does he speak so oddly: "I have know-en him a lot longer than you, Donna."

Oh, and when he talked about his relationship with Eric, "a father and his son," I can only assume that he's forgotten Massimo is really his father. Or maybe Beth's dementia is contagious.

Sunday 20 July 2008

"Oh my God, Eric!"

Did Honeybear overdose on Viagra?

Hair and heir of the week:

Couple-that-isn't-a-couple of the week:

Felicia and Owen, who are generating quite a bit of buzz on the web. Brandon Beemer's bad boy Owen could make some sparks fly with the awesome Lesli Kay's Felicia. Oh, and when Owen said, "Donna's marriage to your father is about to explode," I thought, I guess he's taken his Viagra then.
Puke-worthy "supercouple" of the week:
Brooke and Ridge. Much as I dislike their relationship, I love Brooke and it was great to see her happy (even if it is with the slimiest of slimy toads, Rigid Ridge).

So, they're going to make love every time they see a comet. Where are they going, Mars? "I heard there's a meteor shower," said Brooke. Ugh.
Later, in a meeting with Eric, she said he should hand over Forrester Creations "from one fashion supercouple to another... Ridge and I have a following. People feel like they know us." Okay, that was a nice wink from the writers, but he's still a jerk.

Underwhelming honeymoon of the week:
Nick and Budge. Seriously, they got married in the garden and had the honeymoon upstairs. WTF? I thought Nick had money. They even let Katiekins plan (and officiate) the wedding. Man, they're cheap.

Boinking of the week:
As my friend Andrew said, "Bridget's headflick was rather porno." So true, and all the better for it. After her run of crappy men, she deserves a good boink. Go Bridget - boink him into next week.
Did she really say that Nick "taught her how to think about sex?" What about Deacon?! He gave her some hot lovin'. As did Dante.

Dumbass of the week:
Thorne. As usual, he barely said anything, just looked kind of confused. He did say, "c'mon Marcus, maybe you can show me where shipping is." He's worked there for years (even when he became an international singing sensation along with Macy, if I recall correctly). Aside from that, doesn't he work in distribution? He works in distribution, but doesn't know where shipping is?!
Snark of the week:
Felicia wants pictures of Owen and "the bimbo bitch" AKA Donna.

Tosh of the week:
After all the scandals at Forrester Creations, why does anyone give two hoots about Donna marrying Eric?! Is Brooke really any better - didn't she give birth to her daughter's husband's baby? Isn't that a little more scandalous?

Dementia story of the week:
Beth forgot her cookie recipe. That sucks. I once forgot where I put my cookies and boy did it piss me off.

Heir of the week:
Marcus. Eric praised all his great work, like, um... that time he once changed the way they log shipments, or something.

Saturday 19 July 2008

Kay Alden named co-Head Writer of B&B.

Long-time Y&R/B&B writer (and daytime royalty) Kay Alden is reportedly taking up the Head Writing reins, along with Brad Bell. No-one can accuse Daytime Emmy winner Ms Alden of being unfamiliar with the genre. Congrats!


Thanks to Melodie over at the always entertaining Daytime Confidential for bringing this news article to our attention.

Wednesday 16 July 2008

Hitched.

Who did you want to beat around the head with the wedding bouquet?

Sunday 13 July 2008

I just want to say...




Daughters marry their mother's ex-husbands. Fact.

Meddling Mother of the week:
Jackie, you really need to keep your nose out of Nick's business. All she ever seems to do these days is pimp out alternate Logan sisters for her 79 year old son.

Hot bedroom scene of the week:
Taylor and Rick! Those two were getting jiggy wi' it and showing Brooke a thing or two in the bedroom department. Taylor deserves some hot lovin' after Nick treated her like a doormat.
WTF moment of the week #1:
Donna called it like it was - WTF was Katie doing planning Budge's wedding? Which leads to...

Wedding planner of the week:
Katiekins. J.Lo's got nothing on her. How quick did she sort that out? Not so half-dead anymore, is she? And then she was deputised as a Justice of the Peace? She's a Jack of all trades, old Katiekins.

WTF moment of the week #2:
Oh my gosh, thought Donna, I just threw a frisbee over in the bushes and when I went to fetch it I discovered a hot guy in the undergrowth. I'll invite him to the party. Like, ohmigod, awesome!

WTF moment of the week #3:
Why is Beth so calm about another of her daughters marrying her ex?! Surely she'd be a bit more what is wrong with you crazy bitches?

Bizarre scene with a half-naked man smoking a cigar of the week:
Nick. No further comments.

Back-tracker of the week:
Brooke: "I just want to see you happy."
Yeah, Brooke, like when you jumped straight into bed with Nick after Bridget lost her baby? Or, like the time you banged (and banged AND BANGED) her first husband? I love Brooke the most, but what a hypocrite. Mother of the Year, fersure!

Skank of the week:
Donna encouraging Katie to snag Nick for herself. Nice way to treat your niece, Donna. Frikkin' trampy ho-bag.

Schizo of the week:
Pam, the lovable loony, organising miniature hot tamales for Bridget and Nick's engagement party. "You are what you eat!"

Interruption of the week:
Katie: "I can't, um - (sniffles) this is wrong. I-I-it's not right. It - you all seem to think you know how I feel about these two, but I don't think I really knew until I was standing up here in front of them, watching them commit their lives to each other. There's something I need to say. This wedding can't go on until you know how I really feel."
Bitch, put a sock in it - now is not the time.

Friday 11 July 2008

Tuesday 8 July 2008

Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get ma-a-arried!

Katie was thrilled to hear Bridget's news:
Jackie could barely contain her glee:
Nick gave Katie a warm welcome as maid of honour:
Oh, happy day:

Best In Show: awards for last week.

Doctor of the week:
Doctor Bridget – Medicine Woman. Want the wrong eggs implanted into your womb? Want heart surgery? Need to regain your lost memories? Dougie Forrester, MD is on the case again.

Compliment of the week:
Brooke (to Beth): "Katie has your smile."
So, who did she inherit the whining from?

WTF moment of the week #1:
The rawk music! The snappy, quick-cut exterior shots! WTF, I thought I was watching the wrong show; I’m not saying I didn’t like it (it was an unexpected burst of energy)… it just came as a shock. A reinvigorated B&B?! I certainly hope so.

WTF moment of the week #2:
The new gym/juice bar/FC outdoor set – is it on the roof of Forrester Creations? Isn’t Forrester Creations a mansion-type building with big ol’ gates and acres of grounds? So how is its roof up in the sky overlooking skyscrapers?! Did I miss something? Seriously, I’ve seen the roof of FC and it is a normal roof. They’d all fall off.

Description of the week:
Marcus: "Kind of a complicated family tree, don't you think?"
Rick: "It's more like a snarl of ingrown branches than a tree. Not even a team of Forresters could figure this one out."

New arrival of the week:
Owen Knight. Welcome aboard the good ship B&B. Let’s hope it doesn’t suffer the same fate as the Shady Marlin #1.

List of the week:
Brooke: "We’ll make a list of ways for mom to get her memory back."
Yeah, Brooke, then you can make a list of ways to keep your knickers on. #1 - I will not straddle my ex. #2 - I will not strip at work.

Douche-bag of the week:
Nick (about Bridget): "…whenever someone says 'epitome of beauty,' this is the reference point."
Oh, so you’re not going to ditch her again? I won’t hold my breath. Why did he keep pushing her after she’d said, "I just don’t think it’s the right time." The jackass.

Fashion disaster of the week:
Katie’s doily dress! Ugh, what was that? She thinks Nick should "bring magic to Bridget’s life," but she’s the one dressed like a fairy – she just needs to put on her wings and sprinkle some fairy-dust.

Romantic speech of the week:
Nick: "You know, Bridget, when you moved in here, you were so self-conscious."
Bridget: (Sighs)
Nick: "It was like you didn't want to step on the old bones of our broken marriage."
Oh, the romance! And isn’t that wrong anyway? Hasn’t Bridget been bolshy before (and since) she moved in – first dissing her mother’s dithering over Nick, and then standing up to Katie?

"First love" of the week:
Katie-kins, who at the ripe old age of 53 has fallen in love for the first time. What?! How old is the tomboy spinster supposed to be? If Brooke is her sister and Bridget is her niece, she must be 40 (and wouldn’t that mean Brooke gave birth at 10?!) My head aches thinking about it, but anyway… Budge seems more mature than her aunt. What has she been doing for the last decade or so? Watching Lakers games and making dresses from doilies?

Wednesday 2 July 2008